When the Mother Felt Out of Place

The family was used to singing along with whatever was being played on radio or car stereo while we were on the road. In the past, frequently played songs were my husband's choice—praise songs, especially Ron Kenoly's songs, which were his favorites, and songs from the 70's and 80's.

My children had learned to appreciate our choice of songs, although, at times, they complained and requested that their songs be played instead. I'd like to believe we are all musically inclined.

At present, since my husband passed away, the songs being played were mostly from the children's playlists. Just the same, we sang together at the top of our voices. I joined them, but I admit, I was already lost with some of the songs. They were getting new ones every day. Even the praise songs were new to me. 

Still, I tried to be "present" with them.

The other night was different, though. I just couldn't join them. I got emotional. I envied them for knowing the songs by heart. I envied them for enjoying themselves while singing along. I couldn't help it. A tear fell from my eyes (not exaggerated!) and I tried to hide it.

My son, Tenten, asked, "Bakit Ma?"

I answered while looking through the window of the car. "Barado na naman yata ang ilong ko at napapaubo ako."

The truth was, I felt out of place. I felt I did not belong at that moment. Am I overreacting?

I turned to my phone and searched the net for "generation gap".  According to Wikipedia:

"In today's usage, generation gap often refers to a perceived gap between younger people and their parents and/or grandparents."

The modern way of communication and music are two of the most talked-about areas of difference between the young and the old.

I would like to think I was not behind when it came to these modern ways of communicating—from mobile phones to computers, and Social Media (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Viber, etc.). I was familiar with all of them, and I used them. I did not view this as a problem, even when they were younger.

So...when it comes to music, I am not giving up! Because singing has always been part of our family bonding, I intend to catch up with them. I will learn the songs they sing.

I sent a text message to Ningning before I went to sleep that night.

"Ning, paano ko makokopya ang songs sa playlist mo?'

"Sa laptop po. Lagay ko na lang tomorrow."

Caught in the act! 

My child snapped this while I was writing.