Things happened in the past. I was hurt. I walked away.
They say time heals all wounds. Time did pass, and little by little, I felt better. It took four long years, but I reached a place where I could truly forgive—even without ever hearing the words “I’m sorry”.
Then yesterday, something happened. An incident related to that old hurt was unintentionally revealed to me. It involved the same person, the same people.
Can an old wound that has become a scar be opened again?
Because it bothered me, I talked to my children.
“Mama,” Ningning said, “that’s a new hurt. It’s a new wound. It only happens to be connected to the old one and involves the same people.”
Her words made total sense. Yet, with this new incident, memories of the past came rushing back. I realized that while I had forgiven, I had not forgotten.
Forgiving vs. Forgetting
So before I let go… I realized forgiving and forgetting are not the same thing. The memories remained, but forgiveness was what kept them from controlling my life.
“What should I do?” I asked myself.
“Talk to them.” I thought.
My children disagreed. 😉
As for me, this new hurt has stirred emotions I thought I had already laid to rest. If I cling to them, they will only weigh me down again. They rob me of my peace, my confidence and even my ability to love myself fully.
I learned that forgiveness and reconciliation are entirely different concepts. Reconciliation requires two willing hearts. Forgiveness, however, was a decision only I could make.
I often tell my children, “Be happy! Be with the people who make you happy.”
I still have a long journey ahead of me, and I intend to keep walking. My children are walking it with me. Through prayer and by God’s grace, I know healing will continue. And perhaps, that is one of the greatest gifts I can give myself…to simply let go.
The Family Presenter
So much has changed through the years. Yet, one thing has remained the same. We are still one. ❤️
Our final song came from this Bible verse: “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion…”(Philippians 1:6)
⏳Author’s Note (2026)
This reflection was originally written in 2018.
At the time, I believed God would continue healing my heart, but I didn’t know what that healing would actually look like.
Today, I do.
The hurt no longer has a hold on me. I never forced myself to forget, nor did I wake up one morning deciding everything was finally okay. Somewhere along the journey, God quietly did what only He could do.
Reading these words today reminds me that forgiveness is not the end of the story.
By God’s grace, healing is.
Have you ever had an old emotional wound get reopened when you thought you were completely healed? How did you find the strength to let it go again?
