Her Hand, Her Daddy's Hand

June 30, 2015

Yeye’s first painting on canvas, using acrylic paint.
Daddy is happy and proud of you, I’m sure! Favorite color pa naman niya ang green. 😊😍

The painting isn’t just Yeye’s painting.
It’s her hand and her Daddy’s hand.

While I watched Yeye make use of her talent, I instantly remembered Rey. It seemed like I was always finding ways to keep him present without making everything about his absence.

Maybe that was one of the ways I was coping then—finding little pieces of him in the things my children were doing and allowing those pieces to bring him close.

I didn’t know then that the painting would eventually become something more to Yeye, too.

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August 2, 2016

A year later, someone wanted to buy Yeye’s first painting on canvas, which was displayed at Monsi’s.  I told the children about it.

Yeye’s reaction surprised me.

Yeye: “Hala! Totoo? Kamay namin yan ni Daddy. Ayaw ko...” 😊😊😊

She didn’t ask, “How much?”
Her answer was calm but firm:  “Ayaw ko...”

And I understood.
It wasn’t just her first painting anymore.
It was a piece of her and her Daddy that happened to be on canvas.

Perhaps that was what made it impossible for her to let it go.
I think she was keeping her Daddy alive in her own little way.
And maybe, without realizing it, she had been doing what I had been doing all along—holding on to little pieces of him.

Today, that first painting hangs in Yeye’s own home.

It has traveled with her from the girl who first painted her hand with her Daddy’s to the woman she has become and the home she has built for herself.

I love that she kept it.
Because it was never just a painting.
It was her hand and her Daddy’s hand.

And somehow, all these years later, they are still holding hands on that canvas. ❤️