Is it Time to Get Out of the Cave?

⏳ From the Journals: August 20, 2017

It was a Sunday and I was alone. It wasn't the first time ever since I became a widow. It happened. I couldn’t help it and my children couldn’t help it either. They have their own sets of demands and schedules to meet. It was inevitable and in my heart, I knew it was no big deal. 

However, on those specific Sundays—at most two already—when they were all out, I did not attend mass. Why? Because I simply felt sad and lonely…

They all had valid reasons for not being with me that day. Tenten and Yeye served as working team and shepherds at the YLSS (Youth Life in the Spirit Seminar). Ningning, with husband, JC, went to Lucban for their scheduled visit to her in-laws. Same with Noknok and family who were living quite far from our place.

Considering that the children knew I would not attend mass without any of them, Tenten promised to accompany me after their activity. But, I doubted if it would be possible. I knew how long their activity would last.

As I was thinking of skipping mass again on that Sunday, a friend of my children and mine, too, seemed to come to the rescue while we were chatting. For the first time, I asked someone to be with me to hear mass aside from my children.

At mass during communion, we both lined up. The choir started to sing the communion song...

🎶Huwag kang mangamba. Di ka nag-iisa...🎶

The first two lines of the song hit my heart. Tears instantly started rolling down my face. How do you control that? Do you look up at the ceiling? Do you look down at the floor? Do you force yourself to think of something else? Nakakahiya! Lapit ko na sa magsusubo!

After receiving communion, I walked straight into the comfort room. I whispered to myself: "Compose yourself, Lelen! Anong drama yan?"

We went back to our seats to pray, but here I went again. I would cry again! I prayed: "Lord, tama na po. Wag Nyo na ako paiyakin..." 

After my husband died, I told myself I will just be with my children and enjoy their company. I remember my best friend getting hurt when I told our group via a message, “I am closing my doors for a while.” 

Until when? I didn’t know. It had already been more than 2 years now. I did go out with some of my other friends once in a while, but with one or all of my children serving as chaperones.

That specific Sunday was a special day for me. It was God's way of healing a part of me.  

Is it time to get out of the cave? 😊

Every time the song is being sung, I smile! I thought of God's stubborn love for me. ❤️❤️❤️

📋 Postscript — August 10, 2026

I came back to this journal entry because of what happened yesterday.

It was Day 2 of our Life in the Spirit Seminar (LSS)

During one of the sessions, someone gave a prophecy—and the words were the message I had carried in my heart since that Sunday in 2017.

The message.

“Huwag kayong mangamba. Di ko kayo pababayaan.”

The same invitation. 

And I knew, deep in my heart:

It was for me.

Nine years ago, I asked: Is it time to get out of the cave?

Yesterday, I felt that God was answering. Maybe it really is time.

And perhaps getting out of the cave doesn’t always mean making a big, dramatic move.

Sometimes, it simply means having the courage to take the next step.

One brave little step at a time. 💙