Learning To Be Alone

Whenever my children were out—at work or in school—and I was left at home after my husband passed away, I found myself getting used to eating alone in my room. Yes, in my room, not at the dining table.

At first, it felt unusual. Eventually, it became my quiet space.

What “Being Alone” Really Means

• Being alone doesn't mean you are miserable or pitiful.

• Being alone doesn't mean you are lonely, unhappy or trapped in sadness.

• Being alone doesn't mean you are unwanted.

• Being alone doesn't mean nobody cares for you.

Sometimes, being alone simply means being with yourself. And that can be good. It can be rewarding.

The Hidden Gifts of Solitude

• When I am alone, I can listen to my own thoughts,  instead of constantly responding to the thoughts and emotions of everyone around me.

• When I am alone, I become more aware of my own feelings instead of trying to understand everyone else’s.

• When I am alone, I enjoy the freedom to do simple things without having to compromise with anyone.

• When I am alone, I learn to appreciate who I am. And the more I value myself, the healthier my relationships become with the people I love.

Finding Myself Again

Because of this, I am not afraid to spend time alone. Those quiet moments restore me.

Afterward, I return to the world as my usual self—the friendly one, the one who smiles easily, laughs wholeheartedly, and still tries to be good, “nosy-by-default” mother.  

Perhaps learning to be alone was never about withdrawing from people. Perhaps it was God’s gentle way of teaching me how to find myself again.

Have you ever had a moment where being alone transformed from something scary into something comforting? I’d love to hear your story in the comments below.