Okay, I’ll Brag a Little!

🧶 Mom Len's Loops: Stories Behind The Stitches

August 2026

Last Monday, August 31, we went out for a simple August birthmonth celebration of  Tenten, Yeye, and my two granddaughters. 

I woke up late.

So late that I didn’t even have time to prepare for what I should wear.

Usually, before heading out, I would have taken a picture, sent it to my children, and asked, “Okay ba ito?”

Not this time.

I just grabbed something from the closet, put on my jeans, slipped into my flats, picked up this little crocheted crossbody bag—and that’s it!

Eight Years, Two Songs, One Memory

⏳ From the Journals: September 2, 2016

It was September 1, 2016. My children walked through my room’s door that evening carrying a bouquet of flowers.

The card tucked inside read:

Mommy, 

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! LOVE YOU ALWAYS! 

❤️ Daddy 😊
And… Noknok & Ji, Ningning & JC, Tenten, Yeye

I wasn’t expecting it at all because my children had already greeted me earlier in the day. It was our 31st wedding anniversary—and my second one navigating the day without Rey.

There was no celebration. There was no dinner out. I just stayed home—perhaps a little sad, but not to wallow.

Vulnerability Is Not About Being Weak

 June 2017

Status is just a perceived thing.

Vulnerability is not about being weak. It is not about being needy. It is about being honest to your emotions and your feelings.

Reading it again now, I find myself wondering what exactly was going through my mind when I wrote those words.

Perhaps I was thinking about how easily we can become conscious of how other people see us.

Our position.
Our accomplishments.
Our image.
The person everyone thinks we are.

The Cellphone, The Rainbow and a Nanay’s Sermon

 October 18, 2017

After getting her annual allowance, Yeye bought a laptop for herself; said she needed it for her SP/thesis. The laptop which her eldest brother passed on to her was getting “inefficient” already. 

Aside from the laptop, one of her priorities was to have her iphone repaired. I think the laptop was secondary. It’s been months and her hope was high that it can be restored. Still functioning but no backlight, not LCD tho, as per technician, “kelangan pong palitan ang ‘ic light’, mga 5-7 days.”

The Never-Ending Learning: Every Ending, a New Beginning

Last night, after a joint praise and worship in another town, some members of the choir had a late-night kwentuhan over a cup of coffee at my place. We talked about moments in the past and recalled experiences from way, way back.

This one topic, which became our closing conversation for the night—no, it was already early morning—stayed with me through the night and into the morning.

When Emotions Get in the Way

Last Thursday, after a church activity, a friend and I were chatting when, all of a sudden, she became teary-eyed. 

And then she said something like: “Okay na, Tita Lelen, maiiyak na ako talaga,” before walking away.

I didn’t know what she was going through. So while driving home that evening, I prayed for her.

And somehow, that conversation brought me back to something I had written almost eight years ago.

When Someone Believes in Your Hands Before You Do

🧶 Mom Len's Loops: Stories Behind The Stitches

Following that business that never was in the history of my crocheting, I somehow lost the inspiration to pick up my hook again.

But in 2023, Yeye woke me up from that feeling of frustration—and yes, unworthiness. She asked me to make a special purse or small bag for her. She said she wanted to use it for a special event. 

I Was Just Crocheting

🧶 Mom Len's Loops: Stories Behind The Stitches

I had been crocheting even long before Rey passed away.

Maybe it was a passion I inherited from my mother. I remember her crocheting our household curtains, tablecloths, and throw pillow cases and others using tiny hooks and super-thin yarns. Those pieces were beautiful, but I never dared try making them myself. Tiny hooks and super-thin yarns? One piece would take time to finish. 😂

After Rey’s passing, I stopped crocheting for a while because Ningning and I had to take over managing the construction business. But sometime in 2016, my hands picked up the hook again.

While We Can

Life is full of uncertainties.

“So, let’s do it while we can,” I firmly told myself… once again!

I will be the first to admit that I am not a good singer, nor a good keyboard player. But I am deeply grateful for the talents God gave me, no matter how “so-so” they might seem right now. Baka gumaling pa! Habang may buhay, may pag-asa. 😄

Bahala Ka Na Po, Lord

 Author’s Note (2026)

Reading this today, I remembered a season when I carried more than I could say. I smiled, worked, and kept moving, but my heart was heavier than I let others see. Looking back, I’m grateful that God heard the prayers I couldn’t even put into words. He carried what I couldn’t.

January 12. 2019

Yung naiisip mo, bakit hindi ka tinatantanan ng alalahanin. Overthinking ba yun?

It Is Your Own Parenting Style

Author's Note: 

I first wrote and published this post back in 2016 on Medium. I am bringing it over here today to share the snapshot of my writing journey.

In one of my Christian teachings a long time ago (not about parenting, though), I used my relationship with my children as an example of how I deal with them.

After the talk, a participant approached me and said, “Your example about dealing with children? I don’t think it will work with everybody.”

Little did I realize that I may have sounded like I was telling my audience, “You should follow my example.”

Apparently, I Needed Reminding 😂

⏳From The Journals: August 11, 2024

I am someone special.

I am important.

I am unique.

I am smart.

I am intelligent.

I am wanted.

I am attractive.

Even at my age, I am cute and lovely.

I am amazing.

I am awesome.

I am respectable.

I am the priority.

The Stories Behind the Belénes

🧶 Mom Len's Loops: Stories Behind The Stitches

Christmas may still be months away, but I was intentionally scrolling through my old Facebook posts, looking for memories of my crochet. That’s when I came across an old post of Ningning dated December 12, 2016. Her caption read:

Grace Under Pressure

☕ Grace Under Pressure, Not Grave Under Pressure

Memory Lane (March 26, 2019)

When things are coming one after the other and you feel you are being pulled down into a dark hole...

And then you tried the best you could to stand up and do whatever you could in that circumstance.

And then you tell yourself,
“Kaya mo yan!”
“Matatapos din yan!”

And you tried not to cry but still tears rolled down.

And then, you changed your thoughts into imaginations only you knew.
And then you smiled...

What’s the best way to make you sane in the midst of situations making you insane?

For me, the answer is simple.
You choose to bury the worry before the worry buries you. You hold onto the quiet strength that only God can provide.

It is Grace under pressure—never Grave under pressure. 💙

“Be still, and know that I am God.” — Psalm 46:10

May you find a hidden reason to smile and experience His calming grace in the middle of your pressures today.

Is it Time to Get Out of the Cave?

⏳ From the Journals: August 20, 2017

It was a Sunday and I was alone. It wasn't the first time ever since I became a widow. It happened. I couldn’t help it and my children couldn’t help it either. They have their own sets of demands and schedules to meet. It was inevitable and in my heart, I knew it was no big deal. 

Sure Ka, Anak?

There was a time when going out with one of my children wasn’t something we had to plan weeks in advance. It simply happened. This was one of those ordinary days.

My youngest son, Tenten, asked me to go watch a movie with him. We usually had Yeye with us whenever we went out, but she had a class that day and couldn’t join.

I looked at him, slightly surprised, and asked: “Sure ka, anak? Tayong dalawa lang? Wala si Yeye…”

Apparently… I Made it!

🧶 Mom Len's Loops: Stories Behind The Stitches

When my daughter, Ningning, first asked me to crochet a vest for her dog—a gift from Ms Heart Evangelista—my answer was always the same.

“Mahirap kasi…”

Ma, Damayan Mo Naman po Ako.

⏳Journal Entry, 2016

Yeye: Ma, sorry po...

Me: 😱😱😱 Anong nangyari? 

After seeing this came my usual blah-blahs!

Did Yeye ever wish for that to happen to her iPhone? Of course not. I knew it was an accident. I knew the same thing could have happened to me. Still, the default,  usual mother in me had to let out my standard lecture first.

Dropped Stitches, Wrapped in Love

🧶 Mom Len's Loops: Stories Behind The Stitches

Memory Lane (April 24, 2017)

I had been in a reflective mood for days. No… weeks. No… months already. But I was still very much alive and kicking!

To quiet the different thoughts rushing through my mind, I picked up the knitting needles I had ordered a month earlier after becoming curious about knitting. I thought it would be easy since I already knew how to crochet. Oh, was I wrong! 😄

The Day I Finally Said, "I'm a Widow"

 This was something I wrote in 2016, when surviving one day at a time was already a victory. Looking back now, I realize this little exercise became one of the ways God gently carried me through grief.

A Day Before It Happened… Again

There are certain journal entries from the early years of my widowhood that I can read today with a gentle smile. Then there are those that make time stand still. This was one of them— written on December 29, 2015.

Where the Stitches Began

🧶 Mom Len's Loops: Stories Behind The Stitches

I woke up early on the morning of November 15, 2016—around 3:52 a.m.

I’m not normally awake that early unless I have somewhere important to go. But I couldn’t sleep anymore; I was just tossing and turning. To quiet my mind, I rearranged the living room, pulling furniture here and there in the silence of the early morning.

Wag Mong Tambayan 'Yan

⌛Author's Note (2026)

This story was first written several years ago. Looking back, I smile at the lessons God was already teaching me—not only through my children's frustrations, but through my own as well.

While They Still Want to Hang Out With Me

⏳Author’s Note (2026)

I wrote this in January 2019. Seven years later, I smiled while reading it again. Much has changed, yet much has remained the same. My children have grown older, and so have I. We have weathered seasons of joy and sorrow, misunderstanding and reconciliation, difficulty and triumph, but one thing continues to be true, despite their busy schedules—they find time to invite me to hang out, laugh with them, be their friend or just simply be their mom. Looking back, I realize my “so be it” was not about giving up, but about choosing gratitude for every opportunity God gave us to share with each other.

Before I Let It Go

Things happened in the past. I was hurt. I walked away. 

They say time heals all wounds. Time did pass, and little by little, I felt better. It took four long years,  but I reached a place where I could truly forgive—even without ever hearing the words “I’m sorry”.

When Love Has No Words

Yeye and I took a picture while enjoying our conversation. We had so much to tell each other. We laughed, talked about ordinary things, and looked forward to extraordinary ones. We were excited.

The Mother I Was… The Mother I Am

If I were to describe myself as a mother in one word, it would probably be controlling.

Even with the strong personalities of my children, I often managed to have the final say. I wanted things done my way— not because I wanted to control their lives, but because I genuinely believed I knew what was best for them.