Before She Wore The Sablay

When my youngest daughter, Yeye, struggled through what was supposed to be her final year in UP Los Baños, I had already accepted the possibility that graduation would have to wait.

The numbers against her were overwhelming: three subjects with a grade of 4—strict pre-requisites. A sudden case of chicken pox right before the removal exams. Twenty two units left to take, meaning overload. And, they were all Math subjects.

If you know UP, you know exactly what those numbers meant. To me, another semester sounded perfectly reasonable.

“Okay lang ’yan,” I gently told her. “Next sem na lang.”

I wasn’t lowering my expectations.I was simply protecting her from disappointment.

But Yeye had already made up her mind. “No Ma! Ga-graduate ako ngayong sem na ito! Basta!”

“Okay. If there’s a will, there must be a way!” I must have said this thoughtlessly as my way of giving support to Yeye. Truthfully? I had doubts.

An Impossible Semester

She somehow managed to get approvals to register for every remaining subject. I remained privately pessimistic—severe credit overload, math major subjects and her Special Problem (Thesis). 

But by God’s grace, the approvals came one after another. Then something odd happened.

Life looked… normal. She attended classes. She worked diligently on her Special Problem. She served faithfully in church. She stayed active in her student organizations. She even still found time to go out with her friends.

I wondered if things were really going that well—or if she simply chose not to burden me.

Then came her Special Problem presentation. She passed! Her friends were already congratulating her on social media as if graduation was certain. I quietly celebrated, too.

Until, a text message appeared.

“Ma, mukhang di na po ako sasablay.”

(In UP, sasablay means wearing the graduation garb— it means graduating. Her text meant: “Ma, it looks like I won’t graduate.”)

Borrowed Faith

I immediately called her. She was crying. She had just finished her last major exam and was convinced she had failed it. She was at her Dad’s resting place, weeping, apologizingt to him, and praying for God’s guidance.

I thought I knew exactly what I would say in that moment: “It’s okay, anak. Naiintindihan ko. Hayaan mo na. May susunod na semester pa, sabi ko naman sa yo.”

But those comforting words never came out of my mouth. Instead, the memory of her determination from months before, came back into my mind. “No Ma! Ga-graduate ako ngayon! Basta!”

So I answered her with the exact same certainty she had shown me.

“No, Yeye! Gagraduate ka ngayon. Sasablay ka! If there’s a will, there must be a way!”

Maybe it sounded like pressure to anyone else listening. It wasn’t. It was borrowed faith. For one brief moment, I chose to believe what she had believed all along.

The next day, her professor unexpectedly gave her another examination. She passed!

And a few days later…she finally wore the sablay she had fought so hard for.

A Letter to My Graduate

Dear Yeye,

Everything is a blessing. You’re blessed to have gone through these experiences. Don’t think of them as moments to be ashamed of. Your struggle was real! You’re blessed because you have that will power and a prayerful spirit.

More importantly, you’re blessed to have experienced the victory by God’s grace. Be grateful, always!

 “If there’s a will, there MUST be a way.” Cliche as it may seem, this is now a special message carved with meaningful lesson into your heart. Go forth and carry this lesson to the next chapter of your adult life. Expect victory even in the midst of difficulties. Remember:  “Nothing is impossible with God!” 

I will always be here for you—whether you like it or not! 😊 Just as I have always been for your siblings, God willing.

Spread your wings! I love you!❤️❤️❤️

Ako pa rin,
Ang makulit at madrama mong Nanay