Wag Mong Tambayan 'Yan

⌛Author's Note (2026)

This story was first written several years ago. Looking back, I smile at the lessons God was already teaching me—not only through my children's frustrations, but through my own as well.

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When my children were younger, they didn't easily open up whenever they felt frustrated, especially when they thought it might disappoint me as their mother. Most of their frustrations revolved around school—low exam scores, performance in school activities or simply not meeting what they thought were my expectations.

As a mother, I couldn't rest until I knew what was bothering them. As they grew older, I realized something that humbled me: their frustrations were often an offshoot of my own. Their goals had subconsciously become my goals. I wanted them to be" like this" and "like that". I wanted them to succeed because, in some way, their success made me feel successful too.

Now that my children have grown up into young adults—two of them already married—it remains a challenge for me, as a solo parent, to stay calm and strong whenever they become frustrated. Only this time, their dreams have grown bigger, and so have the disappointments that sometimes come with them.

When Prayers Seem Unanswered

Yesterday, my eldest daughter, Ningning, opened up to me.

Just a few days earlier, she was happily telling me about her plans, goals, her wishes for the future, her dreams, her prayers. I listened with joy and wholeheartedly supported her. But that afternoon, I saw a different side of her. She was discouraged and deeply frustrated because some of her plans are no longer unfolding the way she had hoped. Her wishes didn't not seem to be falling into place and she almost said that her prayers were not being answered. 

As a mother, hearing those words was perhaps the hardest part. I looked at her and said.

"I've heard many people say, 'Parang hindi sinasagot ni Lord ang prayers ko.' whenever things don't go the way they expected. I used to feel that way too. But, I have learned that God always answers our prayers. I may not always understand His timeline or His answer, but I have learned to be content and even delighted, trusting that He has much better plans in store for me."

She understood what I meant. I knew she simply needed someone to listen while she poured out her heart. Before we ended our conversation, I reminded her, 

"When things don't go your way, don't focus on the frustration. Wag mong tambayan 'yan.  Focus on the goal. Andyan pa rin ang goals mo! Baka kelanganmo lang baguhin ang plans mo."

The Nighttime Haircut Session

Just when I thought the days counseling sessions were over, here came Yeye, my youngest, later that evening.  

She asked me to cut her bangs, I did—chin length. 

She wasn't happy. Then her Ate Ning came into the room and Yeye asked her to trim it a little shorter. She gladly did.

Yeye went to bed quietly that night. No complaints. No dramatic speeches. But I already knew something was off. Nanay eh!

The next morning, she was unusually quiet. She kept looking at herself in the mirror. Finally, she broke the silence: 

"Ma, napu-frustrate ako. Di nasunod gusto ko. Ang pangit. Samahan mo naman ako sa parlor."

Whether it is a wish or dream that doesn't happen as planned or a haircut that doesn't turn out the way we imagined, frustration visits all of us from time to time.

Perhaps frustration is not here to stop us. Sometimes it simply pushes us to take a different road toward the same destination.

After all, not every plan works out the way we imagine. Sometimes it's our wishes and dreams...Sometimes it's just our bangs.😊