June 2017
Status is just a perceived thing.
Vulnerability is not about being weak. It is not about being needy. It is about being honest to your emotions and your feelings.
Reading it again now, I find myself wondering what exactly was going through my mind when I wrote those words.
Perhaps I was thinking about how easily we can become conscious of how other people see us.
Our position.
Our accomplishments.
Our image.
The person everyone thinks we are.
October 18, 2017
After getting her annual allowance, Yeye bought a laptop for herself; said she needed it for her SP/thesis. The laptop which her eldest brother passed on to her was getting “inefficient” already.
Aside from the laptop, one of her priorities was to have her iphone repaired. I think the laptop was secondary. It’s been months and her hope was high that it can be restored. Still functioning but no backlight, not LCD tho, as per technician, “kelangan pong palitan ang ‘ic light’, mga 5-7 days.”
Last night, after a joint praise and worship in another town, some members of the choir had a late-night kwentuhan over a cup of coffee at my place. We talked about moments in the past and recalled experiences from way, way back.
This one topic, which became our closing conversation for the night—no, it was already early morning—stayed with me through the night and into the morning.
Last Thursday, after a church activity, a friend and I were chatting when, all of a sudden, she became teary-eyed.
And then she said something like: “Okay na, Tita Lelen, maiiyak na ako talaga,” before walking away.
I didn’t know what she was going through. So while driving home that evening, I prayed for her.
And somehow, that conversation brought me back to something I had written almost eight years ago.
But in 2023, Yeye woke me up from that feeling of frustration—and yes, unworthiness. She asked me to make a special purse or small bag for her. She said she wanted to use it for a special event.
